Friendly Preview: Brazil v Portugal

It feels good to be back in business. I had a hell of a few weeks, so you don’t need to be reminded that the team’s been away for a while and I’ve been away for a while, let’s just get down to business, shall we?

Here’s the boys Charles will have attending the field for tomorrow’s friendly in Brazeeou:

Guard a Reds – Quim (Benfica) and Eduardo (Braga)

Defense and Attacking Wingers — Jose Bosingwa (Chelsea), Paulo Ferreira (Chelsea), Pepe (Real Madrid), Bruno Alves (Porto), Fernando Meira (Galatasaray of Turkey), Miguel (Valencia), and Rolando (Porto)

Midfielders — Cesar Peixoto (Braga), Deco (Chelsea), Raul Meireles (Porto), Joao Moutinho (Sporting), Maniche (Atletico Madrid), Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United), Tiago (Juventus), and Simao (Atletico Madrid)

Guys Who Stand Up Front But Rarely Score — Danny (Zenit St Petersburg of Russia), Nani (Manchester United), Hugo Almeida (Werder Bremen of Germany)

As you can see, he’s plenty happy dicking around with the group he’s got and I’m fine with that for the friendlies. He’s gotta find someone who can put the ball into the back of the net for fuck’s sake, and a match that doesn’t really count is a good place to start. Tiago makes his return along with two n00bs in the form of defender Rolando and midfielder Cesar Peixoto.

Possible Portuguesian Primary XI
Christ only knows what shit he’s planning on throwing up against the wall as far as the lineup is concerned. Inclusion of different players tells me he’s giving real thought to having them get a run out as subs are unlimited in friendlies.

Key Player
Whoever Scores – If anyone can manage a goal, or even, ::GASP:: two, they may earn themselves a closer look and more burn. Especially since this team can’t score to save Bosingwa’s unibrow at this point.

Tactics
This is a hard section to write not knowing for sure who he’s planning on running out there. An embarrassing loss (3-0) would probably be extremely devastating not only to the fans but to the players’ already fragile psyche. A goalless performance will also not provide any “light at the end of the tunnel” to our present run of poopy play.

Prediction
This game just feels like a 1 - 1 “meh” fest. I hope, for our sake, that we put a few together and get the Good Ship Porkychop headed in the right direction.

Força Portugal!!!!

I Picked A Hell of a Time to Be Busy

Sorry for not posting a preview and review of the two atrocities we witnessed but I had business as well as personal items to attend to. As it’s my first day returning from both, give me a day or two to get back into the swing of feeling like this may turn into a Euro 2012 Qualifying blog sometime soon.

ção Guaranteed To Frustrate Us Like Every Other Selecção

New old faces are back in the lineup for Carlos Queiroz and the next round of WC2010 qualifiers against ~~the Swiss~~Sweden on the 11th of the month and Albania four days later. Here’s da boys:

Keepers: Quim (Benfica), Eduardo (Braga), Daniel Fernandes (Bochum, German Bundesliga)

Defenders: Bosingwa (Chelsea), Paulo Ferreira (Chelsea), Tonel (Sporting), Pepe (Real Madrid), Bruno Alves (Porto), Fernando Meira (Galatasaray, Turkish Süper Lig), Antunes (Roma, on loan to Lecce both of the Italian Serie A), and Miguel (Valencia, Spanish Liga)

Midfielders: Deco (Chelsea), Raul Meireles (Porto), Carlos Martins (Benfica), João Moutinho (Sporting) and Maniche (Atletico Madrid, Spanish Liga)

Forwards: Ricardo Quaresma (Internazionale, Italian Serie A), Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United), Danny (Zenit St. Petersburg of the Russian Premier League), Nani (Manchester United), Nuno Gomes (Benfica) Huge-Go Almeida (Werder Bremen, German Bundesliga), and Yannick (Sporting)

Crissy is back healthy so he takes Simmy Sabrosa’s spot and Quaresma has gotten back into the good graces of Portugal’s football hierarchy and thus takes over Pedro Mendes’ spot. Tonel, a central defender from Sporting gets his first shot since 2006 when he started in a qualifier for the most recent Euros against Borat’s home country. He takes Carvalho’s spot which is open due to injury. Deco is in the list but won’t be headed anywhere near the pitch as he’s injured as well. Soooo… Who’s the new starting XI?

WC2010 Qualifier Recap: Portugal 2 - 3 Denmark

Everything about this match was down. Letdown. Meltdown. Move down in the table. Jensen’s game-winner from downtown. Okay, I’m done. Overwhelmingly underwhelming Portugal started like-a-dees:

Nani - Hugo Almeida - Simão
Deco - Raul Meireles - Maniche
Paulo Ferreira - Ricardo Carvalho - Pepe - Bosingwa
Quim

First Half Analysis / Notes
We came out looking pretty disjointed in the midfield, with passes going astray and no real idea about how we were going to attack the Danes. After about twenty five minutes, we settled down and began to play collected, possession based football. The Denmark attack was mostly nonexistent allowing Bosingwa to basically play as a support winger rather than have to track back much and defend. The occasional chance was rooted out and Maniche inexplicably headed the ball back across the goal mouth in Hugo’s direction rather than try for a somewhat open net from about five yards out. I don’t know if his body was simply not turned for banging the ball into the back of the net, but he never looked like nodding the ball home.

We finally broke through in the 41st minute when Hugo Almeida got the ball in an admittedly offside position (although, if referees can get it wrong and call a guy offside, thus taking away a goal, I suppose the other extreme has to happen at some point) and played a great cross to Nani on the ground who tucked it under Denmark’s number one Andersen to open the scoring, which is how they went into half.

Intermission changes / Thoughts
Maniche, Almeida, and Raul Meireles can all stay home for what it’s worth. Maniche played blah, Raul Meireles is everything that was wrong with the team in years past (wild shots from far out, little discipline), and Postiga is better than Almeida, hands down. I’d love to be able to convert one of these fucking corners into something resembling a goal. We continue to lack that killer instinct of being able to put teams away. 1-0 is hardly a score to be confident in going to the dressing rooms. I predicted in my preview that Denmark would score so I still had that in the back of my mind. I certainly didn’t have the shit storm that was about to take place anywhere near my dome.

Second Half Analysis / Notes
We opened dominating possession. Our chances were plenty and were plenty wasted. At one point, we had the ball twice as much as Denmark did (66% - 33%) so even Ricardo Carvalho was getting into the attack. After numerous runs forward that yielded bunk, Queiroz decided to give recent 30 million Euro man Danny a run out and have Simmy Sabrosa take a breather. “Oh No, Not” Nuno Gomes came on as well to replace Hugo Almeida, which should have been a harbinger of things to come, but overwhelming anticipation and optimism caused me to basically ignore this move.

Danny had an immediate impact and could have made it 2-0 on a clear chance to go for goal. However, he bent the ball well wide of the net, thus having Portugal hit the half-century mark as far as missed opportunities go for this match. Nuno Gomes then decided that he’d follow his fellow sub’s lead by putting a wide open chance from six inches out over the net. Way to remind me how much I hate you, Nuno. Gomes’ shitty miss was tantamount to the seventh seal being busted open and all hell prepared to break loose. In the 83rd minute, Denmark’s Nicklas Bendtner made Portugal pay for squandering forty five million chances by converting a well-struck, lower right corner ball past a diving, well off his line, Quim. However, we didn’t have long to lament the late tying goal as Nuno made himself useful and got run over in the box for Deco to bang a penalty home and turn Portuguese lamentation back into jubilation. Moutinho supplanted Nani to give a somewhat more defensive shape to the team and ensure that the lead would not be gifted back to the Danes.

That didn’t work. A late corner kick for Denmark means trouble as Quim gets caught out looking like Ricardo and just as quickly as we stole the lead back from the Danes, they re-knotted the score at 2-2 on a Poulsen header. No more than sixty seconds later, Jensen tried his luck from about twenty seven yards out, hit Pepe on the way through and scorched it past Quim to cause Denmark pure joy as they went ahead 2 - 3 with precious seconds remaining. Portugal were never able to do anything with the final ticks and end up with a 2 -3 home loss, and as extra icing on the shitcake, fourth place in the current group standings.

Individual Player Rankings:
Goalkeeper:
~~Ricardo~~ Quim: 3 - Set pieces will continue to kill us, and the third goal was sort of bad luck, but he was out of position plenty and I almost had to check his shirt a couple times to make sure it didn’t say “Ricardo” on it. He hasn’t been tested much until now and he failed his first test.

Defenders / Wingbacks / Attacking Centerbacks:
Paulo Ferreira: 5 - Cleared well and played effective defense filling in for his partners’ runs forward. He certainly wasn’t among the reasons why they lost.

Ricardo Carvalho: 5 - Needs to find some way to figure out how to boss this back line on set pieces. Since they all speak Portuguese, it’s obviously not a language issue, so… What is it? There’s way too many class defenders on this team to have so many frequent breakdowns in set situations. Fix it, Ricky!

Pepe: 5.5 - I wish the Portugal-born players played with as much fire for their country as he does for his adopted one. The game winner was unlucky, but it happened, so I gotta take-a-da points off.

Jose Bosingwa: 6 - He’s an excellent player going forward and somewhat clumsy in coming back to defend. He tackles very hard and sloppily at times which makes me think that if he were on a caution that he’d become far less effective. The first goal was scored due to poor defending by him.

Midfielders
Deco: 8 - Sad that the two players most on form right now for the team (Deco and Nani) weren’t even born in the country (Brazil and Cape Verde, respectively).

Maniche: 1 - Used up whatever sentimental feelings he had through an awful performance. Back to International Purgatory for you.

Raul Meireles: 2.5 - Wildly overrated. Moutinho, Miguel Veloso, and Pele are all WAAAY better than him.

“Attack”
Nani: 7.5 - This isn’t Manchester United and Old Trafford, so stop thinking you’re going to get every foul and half foul that you want. Still, for me, I think we’ll see him on the wing opposite Ronaldo when Crissy returns. He played VERY well for the most part over these past two matches.

Hugo Almeida: 4 - Stop taking shots from way outside. Who do you think you are, Petit? The pass to Nani was nice to set up the first goal but other than that I want Postiga or even Yannick here instead of him. Without his size, what value does he have really?

Simão: 4.5 - Meh.

Substitutes:
Danny - 1 - He played a whole lot better than a ‘1′. But that horrible miss now looms even larger, especially since they could have used a goal or two towards the end there.

Nuno Gomes - 0.5 - I can get fouled and earn a penalty, too. Other than that, nice miss on the clear chance from almost inside the goal. Can someone please find out who he has a sex tape of in the Portuguese Federation so we can fire that person and end No Goals’ blackmailing scheme to keep him on the squad?

Joe-Wow Moutinho - Incomplete - Denmark did score the game tying and winner while he was on the pitch but neither were his direct fault. Other than that, he didn’t have enough time out there for me to make a call on his performance.

Conclusion:
It’s still early. But this team has A WAYS to go.

World Cup 2010 Qualifier Preview: Portugal v. Denmark

Portugal v. Denmark
Group 1, Matchday 2: September 10, 2008 @ 3:45 PM Eastern, 20:45 Local
Estádio José Alvalade, Lisbon, Portugal
North American Television: Setanta Sports LIVE

Current Group 1 Standings (Brought to you by Wikipedia)

Team	Pld	W	D	L	GF	GA	GD	Pts
Portugal	1	1	0	0	4	0	+4	3
Sweden	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1
Denmark	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1
Hungary	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1
Albania	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1
Malta	1	0	0	1	0	4	−4	0

Preview
The second (and final) qualifying match for this particular International Break sees the boys back home to face off against Denmark in Sporting’s Lisbon-based stadium, the Alvalade. The Danes are coming off a 0-0 draw in Hungary to open their 2010 Qualifying Campaign while we recently defeated Malta 4-0 away to put us top of the table.

However, Denmark, unlike us, have actually won something major before when, in 1992, they hoisted the European Champions trophy aloft. If we win this match, expect any shit talking from the Danish commenters to include a reference to this tournament win from sixteen years ago. If we lose, Queiroz has threatened all the players with punishment that entails brushing Danish Queen Margerethe II’s teeth with their tongues. This guy is SOME KIND of motivator, eh?

Possible, Although Not PROBABLE Portuguesian Primary XI

Nani - Nuno Gomes - Simão
Deco - João Moutinho - Maniche
Antunes - Ricardo Carvalho - Pepe - Bosingwa
Quim

I know that this is the same team that I picked to start against Malta. I also know that Hugo Almeida, Carlos Martins, and Raul Meireles all started for that match instead of Nuno Gomes, João Moutinho, and Maniche, respectively. However, the minimal amount of time I actually got to see that group in action (due to the lovely satellite feed) underwhelmed me to the point that I think against a far superior opponent, Queiroz will go with a group that he feels more comfortable with. That could also mean that Antunes is supplanted by Miguel on the left, although I think Queiroz is gaining serious confidence in the young defender. Seeing as Denmark are somewhat dangerous in the air, starting Almeida to help out on set pieces is also another good possibility.

Key Player
Quim, Goalkeeper - In the last two matches (5-0 Faroe Islands, 4-0 Malta), Quim hasn’t really had to do much other than make sure he doesn’t pass out from sheer boredom. Denmark should be able to give him a decent test and get a few shots on net that may trouble the Benfica net minder. The question remains: will he be up to the task when the free and corner kicks come swinging in yards from his face? Or will he flail wildly and be woefully indecisive as Ricardo was during this past European Championship?

Tactics
It’s early in the qualification stages, so almost everyone is essentially a work in progress at this point. Still, I caught about twenty minutes of the Denmark - Hungary encounter and what I saw was quite a few free kicks and in swingers from the Danes that they were looking to connect one of their big guys’ heads to. They appear to like to go far post so hopefully they won’t catch Quim jumping out prematurely, missing a punch out and then have a free guy waiting to slam it home. Aside from some nice ball movement and skill on the ball by players such as Nicklas Bendtner (gee, an Arsenal guy who’s good on the ball, what a surprise), the defense looked porous at times against the Hungarians. Passes from the wings both on the ground and in the air by Hungary collapsed the center of the Danish defense, causing them confusion as well as a good deal of danger.

To win this match, Portugal will have to play calm, collected, and smart football. As I’ve said a fuckillion times before, when this team starts playing as individuals (Hi, Nani!) they simply dribble and do tricks into a corner where two and three opposing players are happy to collapse on them and end the threat. Portugal’s quality should hold up and hopefully they can improve from offensive set pieces (Ronaldo’s absence has been glaring here) to maybe have a goal from one of them. Wouldn’t that be splendiforous?

Prediction
Hopefully the home crowd can get behind them and provide some decent lung-based assistance for the guys on the field. I’ve watched too many Chop matches (both league and international) where the majority of the fans tend to be content with merely passively taking the contest in rather than losing their voices. I think Denmark will score from a set piece here, but Portugal have some goals in them yet. The sane part of me says 2-1, but he doesn’t get to come out and play much… Portugal 3 - 1 Denmark

Força Portugal!!!!

WC2010 Qualifier Recap: Malta 0 - 4 Portugal

Technical difficulties anyone? I think Queiroz started the match with the following XI, but I’m not sure because of the fantastic broadcast conditions:

Nani - Hugo Almeida - Simão
Deco - Carlos Martins - Raul Meireles
Antunes - Ricardo Carvalho - Pepe - Bosingwa
Quim

We ended up taking the three points with a 4-0 victory on an own goal by Maltan Said in the 24th minute and three second half goals from Hugo Almeida (60′), Simão (71′), and Nani (74′). I saw a total of six full motion minutes of this match as I was dealing both with a Tropical Storm cutting out my satellite as well as the shitty feed from Setanta.

However, what I DID see didn’t look all that impressive. It’s tough to play attacking, open football against obscenely defensive tactics, which Malta were playing. On the other hand, it’s obvious that the 2010 group is still a work in progress.

I like Queiroz being somewhat ballsy and throwing Antunes out there to get some real burn and I can’t wait until he’s able to step up to a free kick chance and show the absolute rocket ship he has for a left. Raul Meireles and Carlos Martins really do nothing for me yet and I’m waiting for one of them to have a match where I say “Wow.” In the end, we got the three points and are top of the table for now, so no real worries just yet.

I promise that the Denmark recap will be more thorough like the recaps in the past (assuming Setanta can set up a reliable feed from Lisbon).

World Cup 2010 Qualifier Preview: Malta v. Portugal

Malta v. Portugal
Group 1, Matchday 1: September 6, 2008 @ 2:00 PM Eastern, 20:00 Local
Ta’ Qali Stadium, Malta
North American Television: Setanta Sports LIVE

Preview
It’s Charlie and Company’s first match that actually counts for something. In this case, the match in question happens to be Portugal’s opening qualifying match in Malta against, you guessed it, Malta. We go in odds on favorites and better come out huge winners. Crissy Ron is still out with surgery on his ankle and is aiming for an October return (last I heard), but much shouldn’t be made of his absence for this match as we had better STEAMROLL the Maltesianos. Three points is a fantastic thing to have out of the gates, especially given the way that the Selecção has made us shit our pants thoroughly in the past through bumpy qualifying stages.

It’s the ‘Your Guess is As Good As Mine’ Portuguesian Primary XI

Nani - Nuno Gomes - Simão
Deco - João Moutinho - Maniche
Antunes - Ricardo Carvalho - Pepe - Bosingwa
Quim

I’m slapping Antunes in on the left although I suspect Queiroz will go a bit more conservative and throw Miguel in to start. I don’t think you make a statement and bring back Maniche without the intention of starting him so I’ve also thrown him in there. You could hypothetically form this as a 4-2-3-1 with Nuno Gomes being the ‘1′ and Deco sliding into his spot, but for ease of use and precedent, I’ve listed it as a 4-3-3. Besides, Nuno’s not really a far up top type of striker. Actually, in my opinion, he’s not a striker at all really. To be called that you have to score goals.

Key Player
Deco , Midfielder - His form has been excellent for Chelsea aside from the occasional wild tackle. I’d put Maniche here but I’m not 10000% sure he’s going to start. Deco will be looking to orchestrate a number of midfield attacks and hopefully can replicate the magic he created in week one for Chelsea against Portsmouth (4-0 win).

Tactics
Without a true Trinco in the lineup, Maniche and Moutinho are going to have to work extra hard to get back and defend whatever forward runs Malta may create. Then again, maybe they won’t have to work that hard to get back much at all since I’m hoping Portugal will be spending 95% of the time on Malta’s side of the pitch. They had better blow the doors off this match so we can get some fresh blood out there with so many young guys on the bench and try to work out a solid group that we can rely on to put some fucking numbers on the board. Since the Faroe Islands match didn’t count, I’m not basing my tactical ideas on that but going forward, I’m sure we’ll have a clearer picture of how these dudes will be utilized on an individual and group basis.

Prediction
No offense, but… Malta? They had zero wins and only three points in their 2006 qualifying “run” to have them finish dead last in their group. This better be a statement match to scare the ever living shit out of the rest of the teams Portugal have drawn with…Portugal 7 - 0 Malta.

Força Portugal!!!!

I Play Chop Boss For The First Qualifier

It’s way too simple and a lot less fun to guess how this team will be placed on the field by Boss Queiroz. I’d rather go with some crazy ideas, ball ‘em up, and toss them up against the wall to see what shit sticks. Yes, I play with poop.

Since you can probably afford to dick around with the lineup against Malta, I’d put the following players on the pitch in the following formation, with an explanation of tactics afterward:

My Completely Insane (maybe) Portuguesian Primary XI

Danny - Nani - Simão
Deco - João Moutinho - Maniche
Antunes - Pepe - Ricardo Carvalho - Bosingwa
Quim

See something missing? Yeah, no true striker is in the lineup. Since debutante Yannick and Hugo Almeida are the only true strikers in the team (sorry, Nuno, you haven’t been a “striker” for some time) I think this is an interesting way to attack Malta. The 4-6-0 formation isn’t a completely unheard of beast, as Luciano Spaletti’s Roma squad of a few years ago is credited with birthing it and some have suggested that Sir Alex Ferguson uses the same system to some degree at Manchester United.

If Malta aren’t disciplined or smart enough to run a zonal marking scheme, the creative players up front along with the crazy runs forward by Pepe and Bosingwa will be able to shred the defense, no matter how many players Malta wish to play back. The danger in a team trying the “park the bus” in front of the goal against this complement of Chops is that Bosingwa and Pepe will be more than happy to add to the attack while Ricky Carvalho and Antunes have a picnic of cheese sandwiches and Sagres with Quim. I don’t care if you have the entire population of Malta laying in front of the net at that point, it would be an attack that would be hard to keep under five goals… at the half.

So what do you think? Am I completely out of my mind? Should we play it safe, go with a standard formation and take the three points against the Maltese Falcons? Or should we be a bit dangerous and if it doesn’t work simply switch at the half? If you’re going to propose alternative formations, tactics, etc, please don’t guess at what you think Queiroz is going to do. We’ll do the more serious thinking later on in the week. For now, let’s fantasize about the formation like how I fantasize about your sister. Keep tissues by the keyboard, that’s what I do.

Friendly Recap: Brazil SIX - Portugal 2

Friendly Preview: Brazil v Portugal

I Picked A Hell of a Time to Be Busy

ção Guaranteed To Frustrate Us Like Every Other Selecção

WC2010 Qualifier Recap: Portugal 2 - 3 Denmark

World Cup 2010 Qualifier Preview: Portugal v. Denmark

WC2010 Qualifier Recap: Malta 0 - 4 Portugal

World Cup 2010 Qualifier Preview: Malta v. Portugal

I Play Chop Boss For The First Qualifier